I had to write a short story for class. Don’t read it if you don’t like fluff.
it’s been a trying past few days
This will never not be funny.
a hero for the ages
after my procedure at the hospital today my doctor tried to explain all of the medications he’s putting me on and i was kind of out of it on pain meds and he goes, “and i’m going to be putting you on some serious steroids, do you have any problems with that?”
and apparently i looked at my mom and whispered, “i’ll never play major league baseball” and started crying
Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spider-man 2 super bowl trailers
I AM ANGRY ON THE STRANGEST LEVEL
Who’s ready to hear the best joke ever? Ok *clears throat*
A rich snail goes into a car shop, picks out a super fast car, and says “I want a big S painted on the right side, the left side, the front, the back, I want big S’s everywhere.” And the car painter asks “Why?” And the snail says “Because when I pass people on the road I want them to point at me and say ‘Wow! Look at that escargot!”
you had me at rich snail
Actual photo of Australians voting.
If you don’t love Ginny Weasley, you’re wrong.
On today’s episode of: scenes that should’ve gone in the FUCKING movie